Freewill or not?

I have long struggled with the concept of free will. I have always wondered just how much conscious control I really have. There are those who say free will is an illusion, that we are only executing a program determined when we were born via the genes. There are those who tend to think more spiritually or metaphysically who say that God maps out your life. But within that map there are micro choices that are the result of free will.

I tend to think more metaphysically when it comes to this topic. Here is what I think: Birth and Death or predetermined by God or whatever you want to call it. Your family and friends and other people you meet in life are all predetermined. That is the basic blueprint. The blueprint or map is all set upon birth. The freewill comes in the form of choosing to behave decent or indecent, moral or immoral, good or evil. Also of lesser significance are the little choices one makes every day and what jobs, hobbies, and interests one pursues.

There are some murky gray areas in life that I am not sure about. Health problems, mental problems, relationship problems, catastrophic or traumatic events caused by forces outside of the individual's control are among the issue I have trouble reconciling.

I subscribe somewhat to the Law of Attraction. You draw into your life what you think about. But that doesn't account for disasters caused by mother nature. I also don't believe that victims of random violence "attracted" the violence either. One might make an argument that something unconsciously or subconsciously is going on here. I'm not ready to go that far yet.

Despite the complications, for the most part my hypothesis provides peace of mind. I don't worry about death since that has been predetermined. When the time comes, the time has come. Marriage, and kids? It will either happen or it won't. Right now, I am not doing a whole lot to make family life a reality, so, it must mean that chapter in my life isn't imminent if at all. After all if it was meant to be I would be out pursuing right?

Now the last sentence is where we get back to the murky area. Is it freewill that I don't have a great desire to get married and have children. Or is it I don't have the desire because its being predetermined I won't have a family at this time? Ha, that is just what makes this topic so fascinating to me. So the debate goes on....